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Book Name: The Grim Grotto (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 11)

Author: Lemony Snicket

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Overall Rating: (4.39/5) View all reviews (total 54 reviews)
Description

It's tough when the things that stand between you and your desired sugar bowl are a host of deadly mushrooms and an uncomfortable diving suit. The unlucky Baudelaire orphans find themselves in deep (once again) in this eleventh book in Lemony Snicket's odd-and-full-of-woe-but-quite-funny Series of Unfortunate Events. InThe Grim Grotto, the siblings find themselves headed down Stricken Stream on a broken toboggan when they are spotted by the submarineQueequeg, carrying Captain Widdershins, his somewhat volatile stepdaughter Fiona, and optimistic Phil from Lucky Smells Lumbermill. The adventures that follow as the crew tries to get to the aforementioned sugar bowl before Count Olaf are so horrible that the narrator inserts factual information about the water cycle so that readers will get bored and stop reading the book. It doesn't work. As per usual, readers will want to soak up every awf! ul detail and follow the Baudelaires all the way back to the place we first met them--Briny Beach. (Ages 9 and older)--Karin Snelson

Reviews

Mystery Reveals

by Amazon Customer
(5/5)

I have finished reading this book during the week it was released, because you know, high school is like, a busy place, so anyway, I wanted to review this book for a long time but didn't seem to have time.The "Grim Grotto" of the Series of Unfortunate Events is the best book yet; the mysteries about the lives of the Baudlaries reveals more secrets that shadows their past. The Baudlaries went into a adventure "deep in the water" finding the object that beholds the secrets of V.F.D., but only found that their luck has not come yet. Did Count Olaf got the object before the Baudlaries and takes over the headquarters or did the mysterious member of the V.F.D. got it first? Oh man, lots of mysteries!!!This series gets more interesting with the author's hillarious sense of humor. That's why Lemony Snicket has become one of the fave authors. Really, you have gotta read this book!Hope the movie is going to be as good as the books, unlike Harry Potter, which is like a disappointment.


Shades of Gray and Getting Grayer

by Andrew "Radaar"
(5/5)

Well, I've reached the end of the line for the "A Series of Unfortunate Events" books, and I need to wait until September for the next one to come out. To recap, the three Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, have sadly been through a series of some of the most unfortunate events ever to occur to a trio of intelligent children. Violet, who is now 15 years old, is a master inventor who can use almost anything at her fingertips to build amazing machines that can be used for a variety of purposes, including helping herself and her siblings get out of some rather nasty predicaments. The now-13-year-old Klaus is an extremely intelligent researcher, who loves to read and can remember everything he picks up in a book. These skills constantly come in handy when the children are forced to figure out tough mysteries and problems in very short amounts of time. And finally, Sunny, who has recently grown out of infanthood, has been endowed with extremely sharp teeth that allow her to bite her way out of many troubling situations. Lately, she has been developing impressive culinary skills as well.After receiving some very troubling news about a terrible fire that killed their parents, the three children were sent to live with an obscure relative named Count Olaf. Olaf was a terrible guardian who tried to steal the Baudelaire family fortune that the children had inherited. After trying to marry (yes, marry!) Violet in order to get the money, the children moved in with their loving uncle. Sadly, Olaf appeared in disguise and once again tried to get his hands on the Baudelaire fortune.This went on for a while until the children were sent to a strict boarding school where they met Duncan and Isadora Quagmire, two of three triplets who also lost their wealthy parents and their brother Quigley, the third triplet, in a terrible fire. Like the Baudelaires, the Quagmires each had their own special skills. Duncan was a journalist, Isadora was a poet, and Quigley, before the fire, was a cartographer. The children became fast friends, until Olaf was able to capture the Quagmires. Right before he took them away though, they were able to tell the Baudelaires about something they needed to find with the initials V.F.D.Eventually, the three children were able to save their friends, but at the same time, Olaf was able to frame the siblings for murder, and the Baudelaires were forced to flee from the police to a hospital in the middle of nowhere. Once there, they discovered many more secrets regarding V.F.D., which they learned was a secret society. After escaping the hospital, which had been set on fire by Olaf, the children were forced to go into disguise as carnival freaks in order to learn more about V.F.D. from Olaf and his crew. There they learned about an important sugar bowl that Olaf needed to find, and later, they had to assist Olaf in burning down the carnival in order to maintain their disguises. Sadly, Olaf discovered them, kidnapped Sunny, and sent Violet and Klaus careening down a snowy mountain in a runaway caravan. The siblings survived and found out that Quigley was in fact still alive. Violet, Klaus, and Quigley were able to rescue Sunny, find out the last safe place that V.F.D. would go, and escape Olaf yet again. And this is where The Grim Grotto begins.The Baudelaires, after being seperated from Quigley, the Baudelaires are found by a V.F.D. submarine captained by a man named Widdershins, and crewed by his step-daughter Fiona and Phil the Optimist from the Lucky Smells Lumbermill. They embark on a mission to recover the sugar bowl before Olaf and the crew of the Carmelita (Olaf's sub named after the bratty Carmelita Spats) do. Along the way, we learn some family history of one of Olaf's associates which turns out to come back to hurt the Baudelaires and Fiona.This is one of the best books yet in the series (although I'm still going with the fact that The Hostile Hospital is the best). Throughout the last few books, the Baudelaires have been wondering about whether or not they themselves have been turning into villains themselves because they have been disguising themselves, they participated in arson, and they considered trapping Esme Squalor in order to participate in a prisoner exchange to get Sunny back. In this book, the shades of gray get even grayer. When Sunny is poisoned by some mushrooms that will kill her within the hour, they have to consider allowing her to die in order to preserve the greater good. They also are forced to come to terms with the fact that even the people "noble" side of the V.F.D. schism have bad qualities to them, even their parents.The stakes continue to get raised, as Olaf's troupe has now grown to a number big enough to crew an enormous submarine while V.F.D. struggles to remain a force for them to reckon with. Amazingly, even though things are still dire at the end, Snicket is able to leave us with a small note of hope while we wait until the next book is released.


A bit slow

by Anna del C. Dye "Imagine the imaginable, with...
(3/5)

A Series of Un-fortunate Events is good reading material for younger children. They probably will want to emulate some of the characters in the books, which would be fine... especially the calm and intelligent Violet. They are interesting stories and well written, I find some of them slow.Anna del C.Author of "The Elf and the Princess"The Elf and The Princess: The Silent Warrior Trilogy - Book One (The Silent Warrior Trilogy)


AMAZING!!!!!

by Anonymous
(5/5)

This book was one of the best! Just beware the many descriptions of the water cycle and if you through them you have a great book in store!


Yawn!!!

by B. Le "Avid Reader"
(3/5)

the purpose of the book is to set up for the end of the book and introduce the medusoid mycelium. Nothing more can be said, except that a crush occurs between Klaus and Fiona and Fernald is Fiona's brother.Plot: boring!Entertainment: Fine page turner!Literature: absolutely not!Suspense: present.


Grim Grotto is Great

by bookrater "*~*bookrater*~*"
(5/5)

I recently got into this series, i cannot believe how good this series is. The Grim Grotto is a wonderful book for all ages. I cannot wait until the 12th book. The Grim Grotto picks up the pace and brings the children on a trip that they can never go back from! Enjoy this book! It is a great read for anyone!


Good, But Not The Best

by Brett Benner
(4/5)

It's still great fun, and almost to the end. Once again Lemony Snicket leaves the reader with a big cliff hanger, but at least this looks promising for the poor orphans. Not a fun as the others, but a must for fans of the series.


A Series Compromised

by Brian Markowski
(3/5)

Oh how I loved the first few book of "A Series of Unfortunate Events". When I heard it was going to be 13 separate stories, I cringed. That's a lot of books to keep the tale of the Baudelaire orphans afloat. So here comes "book the eleventh" and there is still some glimmer of light to this series; however, there is also much monotony.In "The Grim Grotto" our three heroes, Klaus, Sunny and Violet Baudelair, are still trying to solve the mystery of their scheming evil Uncle, Count Olaf. After the mysterious death of their parents, Olaf has been pursuing the children (through 11 books so far) to capture their large inheritance. As they work to evade the clutches of their uncle they are also trying to clear their name. The press has recently painted the three Baudelairs as evil juvenile delinquents. Their only option is to stop Count Olaf from his even bigger evil scheme, something that has to do the initials V.F.D., a series of deadly fires, and a lost sugar bowl.While looking for the sugar bowl, the Baudelairs run into Captain Widdershins, his stepdaughter Fiona, and Phil (from book 4). Widdershins captains the Queequeg, a tiny submarine. After a quick check of local tidal charts the orphans soon find themselves in deep diving suits exploring an underwater grotto with Fiona. What they hope to find is the lost sugar bowl, what they find instead could doom us all. Count Olaf makes an appearance, as do other characters from past books. It is Olaf, however, that makes these books come alive. You can always be sure the plot gets a good kick in the pants when his greedy little hands show up. He's also provides some of the best humor in the books as well.In "Grotto" we are again treated to a series of pint sized cliffhangers, a few twists and turns, as well as an ending that leaves our protagonist little better off than they were before the book's first pages were turned. Some re-occurring mysteries are sorted out as well, we learn more about V.F.D. and their code system and we also learn a little more about Olaf's future plans.The biggest problem with this book is simply that it seems to running on vapors. There are moments (no question about it) when this book sparkles with charm and excitement, but most of what I read...I read with tedium. The re-occurring jokes, like the re-phrasing on the word "Aye" over and over again, don't work for me anymore. Sunny's ability to cook now (as a baby mind you) never seemed that clever or funny. The fact that most every adult is portrayed as an idiot is wearing thin. Add to this the fact that that we have gained so very little information about this mystery that a large part of me just wants this series to be over with.With two books left I am optimistic that I will soon get some feel of closure but, after reading some of the reviews of book twelve, I fear that any sense of closure, if it indeed comes, will not be here until book thirteen. Regardless, let us all hope that this once charming series ends there.


Suprisingly Super

by Cumulonimbus Harpe "samsmylife"
(5/5)

The Grim Grotto picks up where the tenth book left off. The Baudelaires are floating down Stricken stream on the toboggan when a periscope suddenly comes out of the water. The Baudelaires are unsure whether the people inside the sub-marine are people they should trust. On this adventure the Baudelaires encounter deadly mushrooms, tap-dancing, a message from a lost friend, betrayal, and a dark undersea cave. At the end of this book, readers will find themselves even more frusturated than they did at the end of the previous two. Now we eagerly await book twelve, and the title still remains unknown


Educational and alarming!

by Debra Hamel
(4/5)

The eleventh book in Lemony Snicket's wonderfully miserable Series of Unfortunate Events opens with the much oppressed Baudelaire siblings hurtling down the freezing waters of the Stricken Stream atop a toboggan. Rather than meeting their deaths by cracking their heads against one or more sharp rocks, however, as one might suppose likely, our heroes soon find themselves aboard the Queequeg, a leaky submarine under the command of the boorishly loud Captain Widdershins. The craft is manned by the Captain's stepdaughter and by Phil, the unusually optimistic former employee of the Lucky Smells Lumbermill whom the Baudelaires first encountered in The Miserable Mill, the fourth book of Mr. Snicket's series. (Of the Gorgon Medusa, for example, a figure of Greek mythology whose glance turned people to stone, Phil says, "She was probably nice, when you got to know her." His rosy view of the world is comical, but it is not an attribute one looks for in an ally when one is fighting an evil villain and his henchmen.) As has been usual for them since the day they learned of their parents' death in a fire, the Baudelaires are hounded throughout this newest installment in the series by the wicked and shiny-eyed Count Olaf and his stylish girlfriend Esmee, both of whom have developed a new and presumably "in" villainous laugh with which to frighten the non-villainous. The Baudelaires are troubled as well by various horrific phenomena, most notably the Medusoid Mycelium, a poisonous mushroom that waxes and wanes dangerously in the grim grotto of the book's title.The mysterious Mr. Snicket, as in previous volumes of his researches into the Baudelaires' misfortunes, amuses with his clever wordplay, educates with his tangential discussions of vocabulary, and, indeed, alarms us on his behalf with hints dropped into the narrative of his own harrowing life on the run. ("And a small, ceramic bowl, with a tight-fitting lid to keep something important inside, might be difficult to find in the laundry room of an enormous hotel," Snicket writes, for example, "particularly if there were a terrible villain nearby, making you feel nervous and distracted." Clearly Snicket has lived to tell the tale, but at what cost?) In the end the Baudelaires' lives remain miserable, but perhaps slightly less miserable than they had been, and they are at least a tiny bit closer to uncovering the secrets of the VFD, the enigmatic organization that is a force for good in their world. They are closer too, we must hope, to finally defeating Count Olaf and his troupe of wicked henchmen. There are, after all, only two books remaining in the series.While written for pre-teens, the Snicket series (penned in fact by author Daniel Handler, who has also written some delightful books for adults) is bursting with allusions that will amuse parents. The books are fantastically clever and a joy to read aloud. (If you don't have children to read them to, you may want to rent some.) The Grim Grotto is slower going in its first third than it might be--it should perhaps have been shortened--but it is yet a delightful addition to the series. I urge readers unfamiliar with the books to give them a try. (Don't count on the soon-to-be-released movie version to retain the linguistic playfulness of the original, which is the series' principal charm! Read the books first.)Reviewed by Debra Hamel, author of Trying Neaira: The True Story of a Courtesan's Scandalous Life in Ancient Greece


"He who hesitates is lost"

by doc peterson
(4/5)

Poor Baudelaires. As if losing your parents, home, uncle and being endlessly pursued by Count Olaf wasn't enough, they have to endure the annoying speech patterns of Captain Widdershins and the ridiculously annoying laughter of Count Olaf in _The Grim Grotto_. (Where did that laugh come from, anyway?) It was almost enough to make me stop reading right there.But of course, Snicket makes up for these annoyances by not only filling in more of the ongoing plot with more information about VFD, its codes, the Snicket brothers and the Baudelaire parents. I was also pleased about the reintroduction of Phil (from the Lucky Smells Lumbermill). There are a number of flashbacks as well, making it a necessity to have read the previous books.The story continues with the shades of grey regarding "good" and "evil" that began with _The Carnivorous Carnival_, which I also found entertaining. Characters DO do the unexpected in this one.


How Could You Not Like It

by Dottie Randazzo "Reader of Everything"
(5/5)

If you are reading this series you obviously like the books. The author hasn't disspointed you with this one. Another creepy amazing little story about the 3 children you have grown found of... another suspenseful ending.... a must read.


Not Just For Kids!

by drebbles
(5/5)

Book the Eleventh in Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events, begins with Violet, Klaus and Sunny rushing down the Stricken Stream in a toboggan. Soon they are picked up by the submarine Queequeg, piloted by Captain Widdershins, with his stepdaughter Fiona, and Phil, an old friend from an earlier book, on board. The children are in search of a sugar bowl, which has vanished into a treacherous underwater cave, so small that only the children can enter it. Unfortunately, the cave is filled with poisonous mushrooms and soon the life of one of the Baudelaires is in danger. Just as they are rushing to find an antidote Count Olaf comes aboard the submarine and tries to throw the children in the brig. Will they escape from Count Olaf? Will they get an antidote in time? Where is the sugar bowl? And where did Captain Widdershins and Phil disappear to?Lemony Snickets answers some, but not all of those questions in this delightful entry in the series. As usual the book is filled with quirky characters, including Captain Widdershins and his constant use of the word "Aye" and his motto "He who hesitates is lost", Phil, who sees the bright side of everything, and Fiona, who knows an awful lot about mushrooms. Viola, Klaus and Sunny are all growing up, with Viola and Klaus showing interest in the opposite sex and learning that maybe their parents weren't perfect after all. Sunny is speaking more and more clearly and while it's still fun to try and decipher what she is saying, it's a lot easier than it was in the earlier books.These books are not just for children, as an adult, I really enjoy this series. I really liked this book, but it left a lot of questions that need to be answered in the two books remaining in the series. This book does end on a happier note than any of the previous books, which I found intriguing. I can't wait for the next one!


This book is amazing

by elizabeth m carson
(5/5)

i love this book. next to harry potter. this is #1. this is amazing.#reviewed by mini moose


finally, a ray of sunlight

by E. M. Bristol "bibliophile"
(3/5)

Book 11 follows the set-up the reader has come to expect of the Lemony Snicket series. There is a typically suspenseful setting: in this the orphans, their new friend Fiona, and Captain Widdershins are aboard a submarine in the titular grotto. As usual, Klaus, Violet and Sunny must rely on their talents (reading, inventing and biting respectively) to keep one step ahead of the dastardly Count Olaf who is as determined as ever to get his hands on their fortune.I like how with each book Sunny emerges more and more as a distinct youngster, rather than "just" an infant. She has grown more (both literally and figuratively) than her two siblings put together. I also like how each of her utterances is not just baby talk but expresses an actual thought, albeit sometimes in a different language.The only thing that kept me from fully enjoying the book was the Captain's habit of ending each sentence with "Aye!" I don't know why exactly, except that such constant exclamations felt like being rudely poked in the eye.


Hook-Handed Man's secret revealed!

by Eric Arismendi
(5/5)

After nearly escaping from the almost-melting Mortmain Mountains in the previous book in the series,The Slippery Slope (A Series of Unfortunate Events, Book 10), the Baudelaire orphans (Violet, Klaus, and Sunny) are taken in by the eccentric Captain Widdershins and his stepdaughter Fiona aboard a submarine. The Queequeg submarine is not exactly in good shape, so the Baudelaires are not exactly any more safe in this particular chapter of their lives than they ever were. During their perilous quest to find the mysterious sugar bowl down in an underwater grotto found on the bottom of the Striken Stream, the unlucky children encounter a poisonous fungus known as the Medusoid Mycelium. The deadly mushroom has the ability to grow on human throats and choke its victim to death in an hour or less. Of course, one of the Baudelaires is infected by the horrible fungus and might not make it to the next book! This book, along with all of the other books in the series, is great read for the little kids and the teens and the adults and everyone else who loves a good page-turner. Not only is this book a good mystery, but also touches on the subject of villainy. Just like in real life, characters in the book change from being good to evil and vise-versa - a serious topic to discuss to readers. Besides that, Lemony Snicket (the author) makes references to various famous writers and their words through the Verse Fluctuation Declaration poem-involving V.F.D. code (similar to Aunt Josephine's and the Quagmires') and the submarine's name and uniform. Even though it is fiction, I would not doubt that A Series of Unfortunate Events will someday become a book required in many schools. They are simply so well-written with suspense, humor, mystery, and a bit of drama! (By the way, my review`s title speaks the truth).


A not-so-grim tale that will leave you gasping for air (and dry land)

by Erika Sorocco
(5/5)

When your last name is Baudelaire, it is a known fact that you will somehow stumble upon trouble, no matter how hard you may try and avoid it. When you're last name is Baudelaire and you're an orphan, stumbling upon trouble increases tenfold. Which is why the Baudelaire orphans (Violet, Klaus, and Sunny) know instantly after they begin floating along the Stricken Stream that trouble is lurking around some vicious corner. However, as they are not dolphins, seals, or fish, they did not expect their next bout of trouble to take place underwater. But, alas, that is exactly where they find themselves on their next dreadful adventure. Having come across a submarine that is filled with three crew members (Captain Widdershins, his step-daughter Fiona, and, lo-and-behold the Baudelaire Orphans old pal, Phil), the Baudelaire's enter the underwater vehicle, and begin their next journey. Within a short while, the three orphans learn that Captain Widdershins is a member of V.F.D., and they quickly realize that he is on their side, willing to help them discover the truth about the fire that took their beloved parents lives. However, when the orphans, along with Fiona (a young mycologist), prepare for a bit of deep-sea diving, they soon find that young Sunny has been infected with Medusoid Mycelium (a deadly fungi). Now, the siblings are searching for a way to save their baby sister from a very certain death, without many supplies. As if that weren't difficult enough for the Baudelaire's to endure, they have just discovered that Count Olaf is now trailing them under the sea, and plans on capturing them, and (you guessed it) claiming their fortune as his own.It is quite unusual to note that, having read the ten previous novels in this depressing series, this one leaves the reader feeling the teensiest bit happy when the last page is turned. Snicket has begun to make the three Baudelaire orphans, whom we all know and love, grow up. They are developing school-boy (and girl) crushes, celebrating birthdays that make them another year older, and increasing their vocabulary quite a bit. They are pursuing new hobbies, such as the culinary arts, and writing, and, perhaps, even a love for deep-sea diving...perhaps not. He has even changed Count Olaf from the miserable, obsessive, self-absorbed cretin he used to be; giving him a chance to show his giggling, poetry-loving, order-taking, sensitive side, leading the reader to think that maybe, just maybe, this series will have a happy ending. For those who have read the ten previous novels, THE GRIM GROTTO is essential reading, especially if you plan on finishing the series to see what type of miserable ending the Baudelaires end up with. A not-so-grim tale that will leave you gasping for air (and dry land).Erika SoroccoFreelance Reviewer


Extra points for unique setting.

by E. S. Charpentier
(4/5)

The Beaudelaires are on their own again and in search of the all-important Sugar Bowl. They encounter an irritating submarine captain and learn that sometimes to hesitate is good, and they also have a run-in with a very poisonous fungus. More information is revealed about V.F.D, the identity of one of Olaf's henchmen, and the whereabouts of some friends.We are rushing towards the climax of this series and this book seems more like a bridge between the last chapter and the next than a book of its own. I am loving Sunny's affinity for food and cooking.


Awesome

by Fabrizio
(5/5)

Lemony Snicket is amazing because he tells us something surprising at the end of the chapter. He is very as amazing.


One of the slower ones...

by Hermione Danger "the Law of Impermanence"
(2/5)

Alright. I realize most people here are die-hard Snicket fans.That said, Grim Grotto is where it starts to go downhill. It takes a lot more work to slog through than the other books. For one thing, this is a plot advancement book (finally!) with an abrupt cliffhanger ending rather than the usual clean wrap-up. The repetition is really obnoxious here (how many times does Handler have to copy/paste that essay about water stages?) and it's starting to feel like clever filler that cheats the reader out of substance rather than a narrative device.There could be some good thrills and chills here but it suffers from too many irrelevant asides.Come to think of it, The Carnivorous Carnival is looking pretty good in comparison. CC had meaty dialog that moved the story forward, suspense, surprise twists and emotional clout (bummer about the fortune teller).If we were talking cheese, CC would be a punchy English stilton and GG would be a generic American cheese single. Or that shaky green wannabe parmesan cheese.Rabid Snicket fans are gonna eat this up - just want to say that of the books, this is the one where I started skipping whole paragraphs and pages because Snicket seemed unable to get to the point. I think Klaus would have done the same.


Consistency is key!

by Jared Garrett
(5/5)

Wonder of wonders! Mr. Snicket (Handler) keeps the ball rolling and delights the reader. His reluctance still does not get old or dull. The poor Baudelaires continue their new approach of being pro-active about solving the mystery surrounding their parents and they end up deep underwater. Great plot weaving, excellent dialogue, spectacular voice; all these combine to make this a wonderful continuation of this series of unfortunate events.


Grim Reading

by Jennifer Lichtenfeld
(3/5)

The Baudelaire orphans continue their search for the VFD and the sugar bowl with the hidden message as they escape down the slippery slope of the Mortmain Mountains and away from the evil Count Olaf. Their toboggan ride down the stream leads them to discover a submarine manned by a Captain, his stepdaughter, and Phil - a man the siblings met previously, all of which are friendly to the search for the sugar bowl and interested in keeping it out of Olaf's clutches. But just when it seems as though the Baudelaires have other people to work with and confide in, Olaf manages to strike again and keep the children on a collision course with disaster. The children must work together and keep their wits about them if they are to hope that they will someday escape from Olaf and his evil henchmen for good.This installment contributes almost nothing to the overall plot line of the series. After a slight increase in the pace of the series, this one brings the fun back to a screeching halt. The concept is frustrating at this point and ready for the big conclusion. As in some of the earlier novels, the writing at the beginning of chapters is often disjointed and seems in need of good editing. It is good that there are only two books left because if there was no end in sight, I would likely put an end to it myself.


Excellent, Aye!

by Jim "Pimmy"
(4/5)

The Grim Grotto has Violet, Klaus and Sunny aboard a submarine where a crazed Captain is obsessed with finding the sugar bowl before Count Olaf. While Klaus starts getting close to the Captain's stepdaughter Fiona. She's a book a worm too, well when it comes to learning about mushrooms. One of the funnier parts has has her stepfather alreday planning their wedding and having the two blushing. While saying "and Violet can marry my stepson once we find him again, Aye!". The book has it's slow points but it's still one of the best of the books since it has some surprises. Plus when Sunny gets poisoned by a deadly mushroom, Klaus and Violet have to figure out how to cure her and get away from Count Olaf at the same time.Olaf is surprisingly about as whacky as Jim Carrey played him this time around. He introduces many new goofy laughs and is harder to take serious this time around. The books had a better and more sinister Olaf than the movie until I read this book. He seems to get more and more annoying as the books go on anyway and he's certainly his most annoying here. The book is still creative and the most intriguining enough for me to strongly recommend it. I honestly liked it more than most of the books.


Under the Sea

by JMack
(5/5)

"The Grim Grotto" takes the adventures of the Baudelaires through a different format. Rather addressing a new foe, the Baudelaires seek a missing bowl of sugar that holds a great secret. Along the journey, the orphans renew old acquaintances and face a new challange from Count Olaf in another entertaining ride.Separated from the third Quigley triplet at the end of the previous book, the orphans are sailing a mysterious river without an oar. Taking refuge in a submarine, the orphans find new and old allies. In this way, the series begins to come full circle. On the way to find the mysterious bowl of sugar, the Baudelaires face poisonous mushrooms and a monsterous mechanical octopus. With each new element of the story, more information about the mysterious V.F.D. is revealed.While I eagerly anticipate the ending of the series, I am intrigued by the maturing of the characters and the plotline. As a series for young adults, it is commendable that the series matures with the audience.


If Widdershins and Olaf spoke sensibly.....

by Jonathan Appleseed
(4/5)

There's good and bad here. First the bad.Captain Widdershins bore a striking resemblance to Willy Wonka in his style of speech and general flakiness. Whereas Wonka was entertaining, however, Widdershins was the most annoying character yet in this entire series. An example of his style of speech: "Aye! The Submarine Q and Its Crew of Two is not in the best of shape, I'm afraid! Aye! We've been attacked by villains and leeches, by sharks and realtors, by pirates and girlfriends, by torpedoes and angry salmon! Aye! ... Everything from the radar mechanisms to my alarm clock is malfunctioning! Aye! That's why I'm glad you're here, Violet Baudelaire!" Ever sentence he speaks ends in an exclamation point, which makes for exhausting reading, and the four "Aye's" in this particular example were just too much. This is typical of his speech throughout his entire presence in the book. After the Baudelaire's left Widdershins, I thought the tedium of lunatic prose had ended.I was wrong. First, his stepdaughter assumed his manner of speech, just as she assumed captainship of the submarine. And then there was Olaf. Always Olaf.I'm of the opinion that Count Olaf found his way into a mushroom patch much sooner than the Baudelaires, for nothing else can explain his complete change of character. To be certain, he still has schemes, plans, and matches to burn things with, but he has now been given the world's most annoying laugh, and his use of it in every sentence of dialogue is nonsensical. Count Olaf is no longer the fearsome adversary he has been for the past ten books. He has transcended the stark originality of his evil nature and is now banal and juvenile. I am incredibly disappointed in this change of character, not to mention bewildered. It's difficult to take a villain seriously when he laughs like this: "Ha ha ha heepa-heepa ho! Tee hee tort tort tort. Hot cha ha ha. Sniggle hee! Ha, if I do say so myself." That is our first introduction to his laugh, and while the use of the word "tort" is amusing and clever (tort is, by definition, a wrongful act), the overall effect is one of annoyance.Now the good. Unfortunately I can't go into too much detail about the good, or I'll be giving away some minor secrets.We learn more about V.F.D., more about their codes, what their history was, although we certainly don't learn everything. Still, it's fascinating and interesting. "Snickett's" intellectual humor is in full swing, and I particularly enjoyed his repeated use of an archaic definition of the word lousy in Chapter Seven. Also, for the very first time, concepts of black and white enter the picture. Up until now, people were either good or bad. Now we're seeing shades of gray, and one of the characters we see this shade of gray in happens to be handled brilliantly. I was sadly, but pleasantly surprised to see this character do the unexpected.Much of what we learn begins to put together a more complete picture of this hazy world that the Baudelaire's have been living in, and I can't be more grateful for that. It's been a long road to the denouement.Last, the ending. It's the very best in the series. And of course I can say absolutely nothing about that.


It was good

by Jonathan Haugen
(3/5)

The nook was good but a little bit confusing. It was not my favorite book but it was a good book otherwise.


One of the funniest entries in the series

by Josh Mauthe
(5/5)

We're starting to get closer and closer to the end of the Series of Unfortunate Events, but there's little sign that Lemony Snicket (or his alter ego, Daniel Handler) is slowing down or tying up loose ends. While there are more hints about the nature of V.F.D. and a bigger sense of how some of the disparate characters of the series are tying together, The Grim Grotto raises as many questions as it answers - actually, it asks WAY more than it answers. New characters (including a doozy of a new arrival to end the book), new threats that seem to intimidate friend and foe alike, more shifting alliances, and more moral shades of gray all combine to make just another knockout entry in this incredible series. Grim Grotto doesn't have some of the emotional heft that Slippery Slope had; what it does have, though, is a fantastic sense of humor, bringing some of the funniest scenes of the series, including a tap dance recital gone horribly wrong, a sea captain with bizarre running narration, Olaf's irritation at his newest "colleague", and so much more. It's a blast of a book, all told with the usual great writing, clever wordplay, and surprisingly rich character work that's made the series so good to begin with. And more than that, it continues to be one of the few book sets for young audiences that explores morality in shades of gray and raises questions to which there are no easy answers - no small accomplishment in the often cut-and-dried YA adventure world.


THE GRIM GROTTO (A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS) BOOK 11

by Kaitlan Crockett "Pam"
(5/5)

This book was purchased, along with Books 12 and 13 in this series, for my nine-year-old granddaughter. She hasn't read it yet, but has read other books in this series and enjoys them very much.the books was orderd two weeks prior to Christmas as a Christmas present and arrived in time to give her at Christmas and in very good condition.


The Baudelaires' most harrowing adventure yet

by KidsReads
(5/5)

When last we saw the three Baudelaire orphans --- Violet, Klaus and Sunny --- they were hurtling down a raging river on a toboggan, headed for certain death. At the beginning of THE GRIM GROTTO, the eleventh installment in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, the three children are rescued in the nick of time by a passing submarine. Just when they think they are safe, though, the Baudelaires are in for their most harrowing adventures yet.The Queequeg submarine is captained by Widdershins, a jovial but impatient fellow who is searching underwater for the mysterious sugar bowl that holds important secrets. It seems that the sugar bowl has vanished into a treacherous underwater cave, so small that only the children (including Widdershins's daughter Fiona) can enter it. Little do they know, though, that the cave is filled with poisonous mushroom spores, one of which is inhaled by one of the Baudelaires. Soon, the kids are in a race against time as they try to save their sibling and escape from Count Olaf, who is lurking nearby in a submarine of his own.Unlike the earlier books in this series, Count Olaf is not really a central character here. Instead, this book introduces some new characters and helps shed light on old nemeses such as the hook-handed man. Lemony Snicket continues to be darkly humorous, with jokes that sometimes seem aimed as much at adults as at children; when the three Baudelaires try to decipher T. S. Eliot's THE WASTE LAND, Violet says, "Maybe it's all in code."In the end, THE GRIM GROTTO introduces more mysteries than it solves. Since this is Book the Eleventh of a thirteen-book series, though, the end of the Baudelaires' adventures is rapidly approaching and the Hotel Denouement is in sight. It remains to be seen, though, whether these three unlucky orphans have any hope for a happy ending.--- Reviewed by Norah Piehl


Good Series

by L. Burroughs
(5/5)

My young teen kids really enjoyed these books. I think they are a good read for any child. Thank you.


Grim

by Lemony Snicket
(5/5)

This is an interesting book in the series. Without spoiling any of the surprises for upcoming readers, I will say that anyone who has been interested in the series should find this book just as enjoyable as the rest.


PLeasing sequel to the series

by Liz Z
(4/5)

mushrooms, grottos, submarines and poetry. such is the content of the Grim Grottoviolet, klaus, and sunny find a submarine. inside the submarine is Captain Widdershins, a member of VFD, his daughter Fiona, who studies mushrooms, and good ol Phil from Lucksmells lumbermill, who has become a chef for them.in this book i will spill such spoilers such as sunny getting posioned, klaus being rather *cough* friendly to Fiona, a mysterious shape that appears up on their radar and is rather frightening because both Widdershins and Olaf are afraid of it, whatever it is,a surprising history of one of Count Olaf's henchmen and a surprising ending with two surprising characters popping up in the end.this novel, like the other books, had a wonderful , unique, original style of writing and content. i always learn some new vocab and literature from reading these books and am always very entertained. i would reccomend this book a lot, but also tell readers to, if haven't already, first read the other books in the series. I find people who alwyas read just a random book in the series to enjoy it less than people that have read all of them in order.


He (or She) Who Hesitates Is Lost in the Grim Grotto

by Lonnie E. Holder "The Review's the Thing"
(4/5)

This book is the eleventh book in A Series of Unfortunate Events. This book follows "The Slippery Slope" and precedes "The Penultimate Peril."We began in story where "The Slippery Slope" left off. The Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, on her way out of babyhood, are floating down the Stricken Stream on a broken toboggan. Faster than you can say "Captain Nemo," a periscope with a submarine attached appears. Aye, aye, a submarine it is! The submarine, named QueeQueg, is crewed by Captain Widdershins, his step-daughter Fiona, and Phil, whom we previously met in book the fourth, "The Miserable Mill." Captain Widdershin's motto is "he who hesitates is lost."The submarine and its crew head for a mysterious location marked on the charts as "GG," hoping to find the sugar bowl with the secret. Others are in the ocean too, and the submarine barely escapes an octopus submarine and another, larger, and more sinister submarine. Eventually the crew of the QueeQueg finds GG, which turns out to be the grim grotto.The Baudelaires and Fiona don diving gear and float toward the grim grotto, hoping to find the lost sugar bowl. Unfortunately, the children discover a virulent fungus and are trapped in the grotto for some time. The children seek the sugar bowl, but to no avail. Eventually the children return to the QueeQueg, but the deadly fungus of the grim grotto has accompanied Sunny and she has but an hour to live.Just when you think things can not get worse, the children discover Captain Widdershins and Phil have disappeared from the submarine while they were in the grim grotto. Worse yet, Count Olaf shows up in the octopus submarine, along with other unsavory characters.Will the children escape the Octopus submarine? Will they find a cure for Sunny Baudelaire in time to save her? What happened to Captain Widdershins and Phil? Just where is the sugar bowl and what secret does it contain? Who is the mysterious person in the taxi at the end of this book? Most of these questions will require at least one more book to resolve, and the reader will need to persevere a while longer.This story is about average for the series. The author went on a little long on a particular issue in several places, and Captain Widdershins was somewhat obnoxious. Count Olaf's new, improved laugh is also annoying, as are the other unsavory characters in Olaf's crew. However, I, like many other readers, are to the point where I have to find out how Daniel Handler, aka Lemony Snicket, ends this series. Only two books left to go!Enjoy!


The book has a good ending, but wasn't as interesting as the previous book.

by Loran
(4/5)

I love how the end of this book ties into the series very well. I thought this book wasn't very interesting. I felt the previous book was better because you got introduced to an important character (Quigley) and you got some answer to long awaited questions and more clues. I felt that this book was just used to lengthen the series in order to get to that "unfortunate" number 13. I know other readers of the series are thinking the same thing. The series has been dragging on with a few pick me ups of excited information or clues here and there. I liked the end to this book, which happily makes me want to read the 12th book. I'm hoping we receive more information, more clues, and more suspense as we reach book 13. I am hoping for a good ending to this series and I am hoping that you as readers will continue on with the series even when you feel like you should step away from the series.thank you for your time,Loran


Best book ever

by Mahmoud@AWS
(5/5)

I love the series of unfortunate events but this one is the best one yet! Definitely one of the best.


a book worth the wait

by Melanie Edwards "book worm"
(5/5)

this is by far the best book in the series. so far, the baudalairs have been picked up by captain willdershins on board a tedius sibmerean named the queegueg. they have traveled to the Gorgogian grotto in search of the infamus sugar bowl. however, it dosent take long for them to be discoverd by count olaf and his murduros troupe. by the end the baudalairs land on briney beach which set of this miserable story and are off to the hotel denemount were they might find quigley and others. i can't wait for the next book.


Excellent

by Mirosui Onitsaki
(5/5)

I've read A Series of Unfortunate Events books 1-11 and this was the best of them all. Though my opinions may change when I read book 12. This book was the most exciting. I've read it at school and I couldn't put it down except when I had to do classwork. In math class on the 2nd day which I finished it, I felt bored the rest of the day. Because there was nothing to read. Lemony Snicket is an excellent writer.


These Unfortunate Events Get Better and Better!

by Nancy R. Katz "NancyK18"
(5/5)

The Baudelaire children are in trouble again as readers find them tobogganing down a swift stream. But careening to their possible deaths is nothing compared to what will happen to them when they are picked up by a submarine. And as if that's not enough they must find their way through a grim grotto in search of a sugar bowl which has some great importance to their nemesis and possibly themselves. Along the way they once again meet up with Count Olaf, who continues to pursue them, and his odd group of friends as they continue to search for the truth about their parents deaths and their missing friends, the Quigleys.This the 11th book in the series which has been as fun and intriguing as the first book, The Bad Beginning and all the others. While series tend to drag for me and I usually give up on them midway, each new book in this series seems to be a better and better read. And the end of this book which places the Baudelaire children where the first book began certainly has me looking forward to the next installment to find out additional clues or answers to these orphans series of unfortunate events.I recommend this series of books to mature children, young adults and certainly those adults who enjoy a bit of black humor and suspense. I can hardly wait for the next book to be published but can now look forward to seeing the movie shortly. It should be great fun to see Jim Carrey play the devilish Count Olaf. I can't think of anybody better for this role than the man with many faces and voices.


Forgettable

by Pat Shand "Pat Shand"
(3/5)

This book isn't bad. It's dull in some parts, a bit exciting in others. The only thing is that it is somewhat forgettable. It could have been a much shorter book, or could have even been packed into the end of The Slippery Slope. Not much is discovered in "The Grim Grotto" and it is a bit sad that this is the third to last book in this Series of Unfortunate Events.Violet, Klause, and Sunny enter a submarine with a man with annoying speech habits, a girl whose character changes too dramatically too soon to make any sense, and Phil from "The Miserable Mill" which was a pleasant surprise. Count Olaf's new laugh, which he displays on numerous accounts, is annoying, but I must say that the last chapter of this book, in which the Baudelaire's return to Briny Beach, is quite good.I recommend this book because obviously I support the series, but it is not one of the better of the twelve released so far.6/10


Wicked Fun

by Paula L. Craig
(4/5)

Despite all the warnings this book contains about it being unwise to read it, I had no trouble finishing it. I like little Sunny learning to cook. I was a bit surprised to see someone pop up from the lumber mill. I hope we'll be seeing more return visits from characters left behind in the earlier books of the series. The ending of this book is the best. I was cheering for the Baudelaires!This series is a refreshing antidote to our society's coddling of our kids. The Baudelaires get hit with every possible disaster, yet they keep using their heads and forging on. When we devote our efforts to making things easy for children, we do them no favor. In the real world endings are not always happy; hard work and good intentions do not always bring rewards. Yet we need to keep trying.


Love the series

by :P
(5/5)

This series is the best. I love reading it. I'm really happy to finish the series. I want to know what happens next


Fortunately Fantastic

by RCM "beckahi"
(5/5)

Lemony Snicket has done it once again. "The Series of Unfortunate Events" consistently gets better as the series continues; even though that seems like a paradox. Picking up exactly where Book the Tenth left off, the reader is immediately swept up into the unfortunate affiars of the Baudelaire orphans."The Grim Grotto" finds them boarding a submarine in order to try to find a mysterious VFD relic, ward off poisonous mushrooms, and once again escape from the clutches of the villainous Count Olaf. This chronicle introduces three "new" characters, (and the return of a few previous ones) equally annoying and prone to disappoint the hopes of our three orphans. And Count Olaf's treacherous schemes seem much more ridiculous than horrifying, but his hem-haws are as delighful to read as always."The Grim Grotto" is a delightful addition to the "Unfortunate" series. Once again, the reader is left with a cliffhanger of an ending that leaves us dying for Book the Twelfth. Even if we know not to expect it to be happy.


Wonderfully miserable eleventh book in the series.

by Rebecca Herman
(5/5)

The Baudelaire orphans continue their miserable adventures in the newest book in A Series of Unfortunate Events. When the story begins, they find themselves trapped on a floating toboggan in the middle of the Stricken Stream. Eventually, they are washed downstream to the sea, where they encounter a submarine, the Queequeg, and its crew: Captain Widdershins, who is extremely fond of saying the word "aye"; his stepdaughter Fiona, who loves to read about mushrooms; and Phil, the cook, who they met long ago during their time at the Lucky Smells Lumbermill. Captain Widdershins is searching for the lost sugar bowl, determined that it will not fall into the hands of Count Olaf and his evil associates, and so Baudelaires and their new friends head off to the Gorgonian Grotto, where even more misfortune awaits them. Fans of the series will not want to miss this latest addition. It's just as miserable, hilarious, and wonderful as the previous books in the series. I cannot wait until the next book in the series is released.


One step closer ot the end.

by Robert Beveridge "xterminal"
(4/5)

Lemony Snicket, The Grim Grotto (Scholastic, 2004)The Baudelaire orphans continue their adventures in this eleventh book of the celebrated series. A Series of Unfortunate Events has gone through ups and downs over the years, and it's recently been in something of a down phase; this looks as if it's the beginning of an upward swing, and thus I'm cautiously optimistic about book twelve (due out, as I write this, a few months from now).If you've liked the series so far, you're not going to find much different here, and it should do right by you. If you've not liked them, or not experienced them, you should probably either go back and start at the beginning (with the aptly-named The Bad Beginning) or, as Snicket cautions many times, just put the whole thing down and walk away.


Great

by Ski bunny
(4/5)

This book was great. I can't wait to read the next book in this series. Hope u love this book to!


Good

by Tessa Rivers
(3/5)

Yet another horrible adventure for the Baudelaires, only this time I didn't anticipate the ending. What I really admire about this particular book is that Sunny isn't a baby anymore, so she's starting to talk and saying real words. Some of her baby talk words are actually real words, only spelled backwards, which I found fascinating and very clever on Snicket's part.


A wonderful new edition to this Unfortunate Series!

by T. J. Jones "TJ"
(5/5)

I still don't see why some reviewers are giving the Grim Grotto anything less than 5 stars! The story as always was written in the beloved Lemony Snicket's grim humor. I found the water cycle tied in to the story very creative and if you read it to the end, the readers will realize just how much the Baudelaire's lives really resemble the water cycle! Surprisingly, Snicket teaches a very important and mature lesson, that not everything is always seen as black or white, but sometimes people are percieved as gray (or a tossed chef's salad!) I found that lesson to be very important for the story and I congratulate Snicket for wanting to make the story mature along with the Baudelaires as well. Snicket once again weaves an intricate story full of interesting characters, miracalous adventures, humor, and above all else, creativity. The Grim Grotto is an excellent addition to the series giving us more questions surrounding V.F.D and leaving the reader eagerly wanting Book the Twelfth!


The darkest one yet!

by Tom
(5/5)

The 11th book in the series is by far the darkest one yet! From the trouble they encounter to the people they meet the story is very different from the rest. There are only two new characters, Fiona and Captain Widdershinns who are both members of VFD, however they haven't quite decided which side of the schism they're on. There is a returning character too which is funny and exciting.The cons:Captain Widdershinns is to say in the least, very annoying. He must repeat the word aye after every single sentence and the author uses this technique to waste pages at a time. Most of all his speech doesn't match the seriousness of the rest of the book. Widdershinns could have been a serious character and made the book even darker, rather than just making the book annoying.They are starting to turn Olaf into a comical character rather than a sinister villan. His "new laugh" is also annoying and he is starting to not seem the least bit scary and I'm wondering why the children fear him. I know he's not supposed to be to realistic because it could frighten children but he was much better how snicket portrayed him in the earlier books (himself, Stophono, Sham, Shirley, Gengis, Gunthur, Dupin)The pros:The whole part when they went into the grotto and returned to the empty submarine was written so well. It was so dark and thrilling that it was almost creepy. I can't give away much so I'll just say it's the best part!When they save sunny is one of the happiest things ever to happen to the Baudelaire's, and it's so happy it makes you want to cry tears of joy along with them.The best part of the whole book is the last 4 pages. It's by far the best ending of all the books and is just soo good. There's a return of a character whom they haven't seen for a long time, and has a great cliffhanger. I can't ruin it for you so I'll just say it was really really good again.This is one of the best in the series so I would definitely recommend it!


WOW

by Tom L.
(5/5)

Another great one in the series, my son and daughter both read these and I have also read them very much entertaining for all.


A large lack in quality!

by Toni Masters
(3/5)

Unfortunately, Lemony Snicket has got the book wrong this time.This book was dull and dry, lacking everything the other books in this thrilling series conspired.In this book, the Baudelaire orphans find themselves in a VFD submarine, where they meet Captain Widdershins and his daughter Fiona.Captain Widdershins and his daughter are on a quest to find the sugar bowl, which is meant to be hidden somewhere inside the grim grotto.Unfortunately it isn't.But Violet learns something very interesting, that the hook-handed man is Fiona's brother.Very interesting!The grotto is infected by a large plume of poisoin mushrooms, and if a spore of the mushrooms touch something, that something will linger on and then die.This unfortunately happens to Sunny.Read the 11th book to find out if Sunny survives!


Oh, Dear! The Dreadful Happenings Continue.

by tvtv3 "tvtv3"
(5/5)

Dear Reader,When we last saw the Baudelaire children, they were being swept out to sea after having fallen down a mountain. It was most dreadful. I should have just left them there and not continued reading about their unfortunate lives in THE GRIM GROTTO, the eleventh chronicle of those poor, unhappy Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny.THE GRIM GROTTO finds them even in more dire circumstances than before. They are misled into believing they have found a former ally of the VFD. Then they have to live in the cramped and tight living arrangements aboard a submarine with no chance of getting out unless they put on these horribly heavy underwater-breathing suits. Aboard the submarine they are threatened from the outside by a giant mechanical monster and Count Olaf and his crew. Then we they finally do get out to walk around they are almost killed by poisonous mushrooms and despite all the precautions they take, disaster strikes anyway.You'd best stay away from this one. But if do choose to read THE GRIM GROTTO, it's not my fault if anything happens.Sincerely,Uncle TV


Underwater Fun!

by Tyler Quagmire
(5/5)

I have to say that when I first found out that this book was about going underwater to find the sugar bowl, I thought it was going to be another plain filler, just to make the suspense about Hotel Denouement more intense.Oh, how wrong I was. The Grim Grotto reveals many more secrets about V.F.D., and we learn a lot about Aunt Josephine and her husband Ike- more than we ever knew.I can't say too much about this. But it does remind me a lot like The Slippery Slope. The Slippery Slope had the Snicket file, The Grim Grotto had the sugar bowl. The Slippery Slope Had Quigley, The Grium Grotto had Fiona. The Slippery Slope had ice, The Grim Grotto had water. And other things.However, as similar (sort of) as the two books are, I have to say that The Grim Grotto is MUCH more exciting than The Slippery Slope, which I found rather dull at times (all it is is climbing up and down a mountain).And the ending- the ending is definitely the best of all the books. No, it's not as cliff-hanging as The Carnivorous Carnival. No, it wasn't as sad as The Austere Academy. And no, it wasn't as dangerous as The Hostile Hospital. It is, however, the best ending of all the books, and all I can say is that it connects books 1-10 and shoots forward in a whole new direction. Plus a character from the past is introduced again. *cough cough*If you were disappointed by The Slippery Slope like I was, then don't be afraid- The Grim Grotto is much more exciting, and much more full of ever day lessons. I'll end my review with this quote of the hook-handed man."People aren't either wicked or noble, they're like chef's salad, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict." --The hook-handed man, page 223


One of the best series ever

by Vedran Lelas
(5/5)

I really love this book because it's filled with adventure and excitement. Also the series of unfortunate events is one of the best series I've ever read.


A fine book, Aye!

by Warren Mars
(5/5)

A wonderful work, Aye! a clever piece of entertainment, Aye! Full of amusement, Aye! Not for the stupid, Aye!Lemony Snicket, world acclaimed researcher into Vile Fruitless Destruction just keeps getting better and better with each book. He is really into his stride by now and it seems a shame that the series should be limited to 13 books just when it is going so well.I really can't overrate this tale of a damp search for a certain Vessel For Disaccharides, set under the sea and replete with villiany, treachery and a terrifying brush with a lethal mycelium. Ha, ha, Happy Birthday! Tee Hee, toothpaste! Ho, ho, hemorrhoids!For those familiar with Verse Fluctuation Declaration I leave you with The Pedlar's Caravan by William Brighty Rands:With the pedlar-man I should like to roam,And write bananas when sausage came home;All the people would read my book,Olaf the travels of Captain Cook!With all due respect...


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